Saturday, October 6, 2018

My Father - My hero and role model

I have started writing this article sitting on the chair of a man who always helped others expecting no returns. Man who stood by his principles throughout his life with no deviations and zero tolerance. Man who believed in two things, limit less service without  hurting others. His pure thoughts and actions has touched the lives and won the hearts of many. Man who showed the world how simple someone can lead a respectful life yet achieve all the goals. He is an embodiment of unconditional love. This man is neither God nor superman but a super power beyond all these beliefs. He is my father my hero and my role model.

Let me honestly admit that as a son I was a failure to support my father in many ways, the man who never expressed but could have wished. He was there in my prayers every time and I always wished his good health, long and peaceful life. As life demanded I had to move away from my parents and row along the water flow two decades ago. This decision had a severe impact on the way how I really wanted to be with my father. Even though my inner consciousness felt for my parents, life in the concrete jungle didn't give me a chance to rethink. Father, please forgive me for any mistakes of mine. To all those sons and daughters who lead such a life, I would like to convey one thing, when you are in my state today, there is no going back. You would have already lost all those precious moments which can never come back once you lose that one man, your hero and role model.

When I look back the days in my childhood, I recollect a souvenir in my father's room, that reads like

"Where there is faith there is love; Where there is love there is peace; Where there is peace there is God; Where there is God there is no need"

  He always emphasized on faith, love, peace and God. For him God is not someone who sits within the four walls of a temple. He was a man who never believed or followed any superstitious beliefs, a man who has not entered any temple throughout his life, not even once, yet had the faith in the existence of an universal energy that persists everywhere. Man who always taught us that God is there with those farmers who sweat out on the fields, God is there with those who selflessly help others. When you are kind at heart you will see God and when you serve others without expecting returns then you become synonym to God. Man who believed in humanity rather than religion or caste. He considered all human beings equal and believed in give respect and take respect. His core sentiments lies with the poor and needy and he was a person who admires even a baby by birth. These were the first lessons that I learnt from him.  Something that I must practice going forward to live and be like my father, my hero and my role model.

My father was a person who showcased totally a different way of parenting. We never had a typical father and son relationship. In my childhood, I have not held his finger tips and roamed around like any other father and son may do (I didn't expect it though). I was never disappointed with him being my father who didn't take me for a movie, buy me a toy or even play with me. It could be because, I was able to understand and accept the different parenting style my father exhibited which clearly stood apart from others. Undoubtedly this man became my best friend with whom I can share anything and everything without a second thought. I knew he was a man who cares for his family every moment and his love for us is genuine and pure even though it was not expressed. Now when I recall I have never got any scolding or beating from my father for any of my mischiefs or immature acts. Instead he always deals it cleanly so that I realize my mistakes and its impact. He always made sure that I myself will think and decide between right and wrong. He was a man of strong ethics and never interfered in anyone's matter. It's true that he has influenced me in several ways but have never stopped me on my decisions.

  I don't remember my father doing a text book teaching anytime for me throughout my studies. Instead he was a man who shared his priceless real life experience and what it had taught him. He wanted us to be self-sustainable, motivated, brave and bold, capable of facing any challenges. With this man I have talked so much day in and out, all through my life and every such conversation ended up in me learning something new. He always urged me to focus on what you are good at and think innovative to discover new things. Man who believed and practiced the quote from Bhagavad Gita, “Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kada Chana”.

Two things my father has advised us NOT to follow him strictly.. Health and Money. He was a person who was not bothered of his health anytime. He was a man who has spent majority of his earnings for buying books. For him food and health was secondary. A man who has spent his life time with books and did no compromises whatsoever to keep it closer to his heart and soul. Two rooms full of books that he has collected and read from many eras is a golden assortment and treasurable. The memories of my father sitting in his room on a broken chair and table, with his spectacles on, holding his favorite pen, scribbling on paper and reading is so unblemished that I still feel his strong presence there. I wish the same image stays right infront of my eyes as long as I live. He was a man who neither ran behind money nor managed it well. He has no account on what he has earned and spent, but is sure that he has spent only for wellbeing of others. A man who has contributed so many scholars, doctors, engineers, master minds and more over good human beings to the world by educating, guiding, inspiring and motivating them without accepting anything in return. On a lighter note he recollects the fact that if he was money oriented, he could have lived a gorgeous life and have bought many worldly things. Even though money could never influence his noble thoughts and actions, he used to advise us that money plays a big role in the fast moving life. Exactly one week from now when I pen these words, it’s Vijayadashami festival of 2018, the day in past several years my father had introduced ample number of kids into the world of syllabary beginning with writing, all those who holds good position in their own life now. Lastly it was my son for whom the ceremony of initiation into the characters was done by my beloved father. My Son, when you grow up you will surely understand the significant space your grandfather was holding in my heart and life. I don’t know now if I can ever be a worthy father to you like how my father was to me.

Don't compare yourself with anyone. You are unique by itself and have the ability to conquer the world, he used to advise me whenever I complain of something that I lack. It's not that easy to understand and practice these words. It's a humongous task to achieve this state of mind which everyone can't attain. My father has shown it by example that he does what he advocate.

"Sound is Power", he whispered in my ears when I was low in confidence at my physical appearance. I consumed his golden words which has helped me achieve my goals till today where ever I had been. I’ve rarely seen a person of my father’s caliber who doesn’t wear at least a watch or a pants or  ornaments or bare minimum a proper slipper. He was a man who was never interested in materialistic things rather he carried himself with the most simplest life style. He doesn’t need a suite or a smart phone to impress anyone. He hijacks the crowd with his inspiring and mesmerizing speech. I used to envy on this man’s confidence. Man who gave less importance on wishing birthdays, anniversaries and other so called important days. For him every day is a celebration by itself and advised not to go behind any specific days and dates. “Knowledge is supremacy”, another learning for me from an exceptional man I’ve ever met in my life, my father, my hero and role model.

  7th September 2018, 4.30pm my father started his eternal journey. A journey only great human beings will achieve the way it happened. But his absence had undoubtedly created an undefinable vacuum which no one on this planet can refill. Hundreds of people from different levels gathered these days in remembrance of my father, those who have more stronger and deeper relationship with him than me. I met so many people for whom my father was next to God, the man who had lend his helping hand for all those needy, sacrificing his own commitments.  Now I comprehend the vast network my father has built over these years across borders. He was an ocean and I was just a fish. He was a tree that grew taller and deeper with infinite branches and roots and I was just the smallest leaf.  There are occasions where I have courageously faced many challenges and stood up and raised my voice for rights only with the belief that my father is there at the back to support me. Now when I realize that neither I'll be seeing this man ever again nor be able to speak to him, gives me an inconsolable pain that translates to never ending tears. With the deepest sorrow and weeping heart, while I write these words for my father, the greatest man that I’ve ever seen, I would still believe that my hero and my role model is with me and will be with me always. Four decades of loving memories with my father is getting off as waves in my heart that cannot be concluded in a memoir. I may need a life time to spread his messages. Father, I'm proud to be born as your son and if there is any rebirths I would always want to be born as your son.  

I love you my "GOD - Father" !!!

Ente eettavum priyappetta Achanu…

Makan

Vinu

[To my dearest father… From Son Vinu]